...It Was So Much More

Dear Addie,

After an unavoidable stay in the hospital last week, we finally returned home, exhausted, eager for a meal that wasn’t hospital food, and to sleep in our own beds. That night, as I climbed in, I noticed it was made—not exactly how I would have done it, but it had clean sheets and was calling my name. I figured I must have overlooked the fact that perhaps Daddy had made it during the chaos before we went to the hospital - life has certainly been a blur lately, but I digress. I promise you, I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow, so I didn't spend much time thinking about it. I just knew it felt perfect, and I was happy to be there.

The next afternoon, while we were out running errands and catching up on everything that had happened both inside and outside the hospital, big sister Clara asked me how I had slept my first night back home. I replied, "It was positively dreamy!" delighted with my answer, she flashed a warm smile before quickly changing the subject back to our college apartment shopping.

Fast forward to that night when we were going to bed. I told Daddy thank you for changing the sheets and making the bed, to which he replied, "I didn't." Perplexed for a minute I thought my menopausal, mommy brain had just not remembered doing such a task, when suddenly it all made sense and I knew what had happened.

I walked down the hall to Clara and Gabe's room and asked Clara, “Did you wash our sheets and make the bed?” She replied, “Yes, I did Addie's, too.” My mama heart melted.

You see Addie, one of the things I do so often is wash sheets, and when anyone is out of town or away for an extended period, I make sure there are fresh sheets on the bed for their return. I personally believe it’s one of the best feelings in the world! Now with us at the hospital, Clara just decided to do it on her own, because she knew that magical feeling all too well and without a hint of boastfulness. It makes me tear up just at the thought of this gesture really. I'm in an emotional phase of life, no judgment.

I often share our family motto, "One Team, One Dream," which emphasizes how we are better together by supporting and loving one another. Being a sibling of a child with special needs can be both rewarding and challenging. These siblings often perceive more than we would hope for our children, leading them to grow up more quickly in certain areas of life than most kids. Im not proud of it, but I think they have seen just about every emotion (sometimes in a single day) from me. Life is heavy sometimes and they bare witness to it whether we want them to or not. Recently daddy and I were planning a trip for our anniversary and were struggling to find and aide to come stay with you overnight. In a causal conversation with Clara in between classes she asked what I was doing, and I had indicated as such. She wasted no time in offering to come home, assuring me that she and Gabe could manage just fine and there was no need in wasting anymore time in searching for someone. I was hesitant to allow this because we never wanted to put too much responsibility on them. Our goal has always been for them to be kids and siblings, not parents—a sentiment that I'm sure resonates with many families of children with special needs. Having said that we've always been cautious of how much we ask of them in helping with your needs. However, she insisted, "Mom, it's our sister. We got this," and that they did. Another time, while we were out of town, you unexpectedly needed to take an ambulance ride to the hospital. Gabe without asking organized all your medications on the counter, took a picture of them, and texted it to us. This way, we could easily show the emergency room staff when we arrived, in case we were flustered and couldn’t remember the amounts and dosages.

Both of them understand your food preferences, how to manage your medications and personal care, what triggers your emotions, and what makes you laugh. While this can feel like a full-time job, they don’t perceive it that way. To them, it’s simply an expression of love and these two siblings, I may be bias here, are the best of the best and love you beyond measure.

Addie, in this house we love deeply and help whenever possible no matter what it is, but when Clara washed the sheets it just really made my mama heart flutter. It wasn't something that had to be done, but just something she knew the feeling of and wanted that for us. Something I've done for years to make others feel good and she just did on her own.

Some might say, it's just sheets, but too us it was so much more.

They say children really do watch what we do and that is 100% true.

I'm so very proud of all of you.

Love,

Mom