A New Map

Dear Addie,

This past weekend, we packed our bags and prepared for a week away—not the kind of “away” that means checking into a Marriott for a fun-filled vacation, but rather checking into the pediatric hospital for a week of additional testing. It was a lesson in wants and needs, because while nobody wanted this, it was something we needed at this time. There has been glimmers of progress and tiny signs that gave us hope that recovery was near. It felt within reach, like any day now we’d have your spunky, smiling self back. But then, everything just… stopped. The path to recovery we were on hit a roadblock, forcing us to backtrack, search for a detour, and ultimately realize we definitely needed a new map.

Decisions were made, and we packed our bags.

Monday came and went. By Wednesday, I had officially started confusing the days, and Thursday was a blur. There were so many intense moments—each one eased by nurses with quick thinking and soft, reassuring voices. Side note: Nurses are angels, seriously. But then, late last night, I saw it… something we’d lost somewhere back in June. Something that reminded us you were still in there, fighting. It was in this moment, our hope was restored...You smiled. You were smiling, not at something funny, but just lying smiling.

Addie, this week we checked off a few more boxes on what has felt like a scrolling list, and now we’ll patiently wait for the next round of test results to come in. As we continue to untangle whether the chicken or the egg came first in all of this—and how best to treat what’s happening today—I find great reassurance knowing you have an extraordinary team of doctors (a whole lot of them!) dedicated to getting us back to seeing your infectious smile every single day.

You my dear, with every step are showing us just how incredibly strong you are.

Love you the whole world full,

Mom