The Thaw

Dear Addie,

It’s said that things often get worse before they get better, and this week felt exactly like that. For three days, we witnessed some of the worst sickness we’ve seen in quite some time. It left us in an unfortunate, but familiar conversation questioning whether we would ever truly understand what was happening, or if this had simply become our new normal. Was our life destined to be brief glimmers of hope, only to have the rug pulled out from underneath us again? Was this really it?

Your body has been battling against you for months now, and even after countless doctor visits and specialist consults, we still don’t fully understand what set us on this path in the first place. After exhausting every avenue in search of answers, it’s hard not to feel defeated living in this world of theories. I find myself sleep deprived not from a lack of your sleep but my own rather in my quest for knowledge looking for something, literally anything we may have missed. The needle in the haystack if you will. I know we are not suppose to think why you...but selfishly it just doesn’t feel fair.

Then, almost like a switch being flipped once again, you woke with a familiar presence in your mannerisms and demeanor, a glimpse of you that felt deeply reassuring, steady, and known. Like winter had ended and we were witnessing the first signs of spring. It felt like a version of you we thought we had lost months ago had finally returned. You were eating and keeping food down, sitting up and interacting with us instead of lying in your room, weak and lethargic. You even took the chance to sit outside on your swing, soaking in our unseasonably warmer air. For the first time in a long time, everything just felt right again.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/b10a86_aa2f2566ea72468582c83a1eb5678fa4/720p/mp4/file.mp4

Addie, this week felt like spring in our little world, as illness seemed to thaw and slip away from you. We are still well aware winter can circle back without warning, but we’re holding onto hope that this is the season where blossoms begin to bloom.

Love,

Mom