Memory Lane

Dear Addie,

Last week, I had an errand to run in a town where we used to live, so I decided to swing by our old house while I was there. As I pulled into the cul-de-sac, I was immediately flooded with emotion. That house was where your life began. It was where we became a "party of five." Clara started preschool there and would bring home her weekly artwork, which we proudly displayed for all to see. Gabe discovered popsicles and believed they should be considered an essential food group, while you, as our newborn, never slept—just looked around and absorbed everything. Somehow just being on the street felt like it was so real and very present day like we had never left, but at the same time forever and a day ago.

Now, three states and six moves later, fourteen years have passed since that time, and here we are—so much life has already been lived. I can’t help but wonder what life would have been like had we stayed. It's a natural thought for anyone, I suppose—what might have been? It's hard for me to imagine not having met all the people we've encountered on this journey—traveling through New York, Texas, and eventually back to North Carolina. With all the moving around, we’ve had numerous moments that seem to affirm we were meant to be in those places, meeting those specific people at just the right time. Having become so woven into our community now, I can’t help but wonder if we might have met some of these individuals in our daily lives much earlier had we stayed. But I digress.

There’s a bittersweet feeling in realizing that I can’t return to those small versions of you all. However, don’t mistake that for a lack of admiration for the wonderful people you’ve become today. I am incredibly proud to be your mom and to walk alongside you on this journey. Despite the challenges we face, I feel blessed that I still, fourteen years later get to display (now your) artwork from school.

Love you always.

Mom