A Box Of Macaroni

Dear Addie,

It might seem like this began with a box of noodles, but the truth is, it started long before that.

It's no big secret that a vast majority of people on the autism spectrum experience sensory issues. In fact, your first diagnosis was for a sensory processing disorder. This diagnosis propelled us into a deeper understanding of the senses and the distinctions between hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity. We also learned about terms like "sensory diet," which surprisingly has nothing to do with food—despite the fact that this story does relate to food. But I digress.

I think at this point its also important to point out that you don't have to be autistic to experience sensory issues, but lets get back to the noodles.

For as long as I can remember, you have loved mac and cheese. But not just any quick box mac and cheese—oh no! You are a make it with a roux and multiple cheeses kind of gal, and I don't blame you; it's better, in my opinion, but where were we...oh yes the noodles.

We discovered early on that you have a strong preference when it comes to textured noodles. Honestly, I could have gone my entire life without realizing that macaroni noodles even came in two different varieties. Some are smooth, just the way you like them, while others have ridges, which you can't stand and literally gag at. We are getting closer to the box of noodles promise.

This past week I had to do a quick grocery pick up where I place an order online and just swing by to grab it. Easy peasy, no big deal. This service has been a blessing on so many occasions; however, sometimes they do substitute items, and you can probably see where this is going. In this specific situation, they gave us a different kind of textured macaroni noodle to which I didn't realize as I quickly started making the mac and cheese while putting everything away. I only noticed after pouring the noodles into the pot that they were textured. Some might ask, "What's the big deal?" To them, I would say— in our household, it's a very big deal and could lead to me having to clean up vomit due to a gag reflex. Fortunately, I had a little bit left in an airtight container in the pantry, so I was able to use that, and your dinner was saved. Instead of wasting the remaining portion of the noodles in the box, I set them aside in the pantry to use for the rest of the family at a later time. I made a quick trip afterward to get the correct noodles and put them in my airtight pasta container. All was well in our world.

Until later in the week...

While cleaning out the pantry, I came across a box of noodles and thought, "That's weird. Why haven't I put these in the pasta container?" So, I effortlessly dumped them in with the other noodles, snapped the lid on, and didn't think twice about it.

Later that same day, I was making you mac and cheese (we literally make mac and cheese every day, just so you know). While straining the noodles, I realized my epic fail—I had mixed them up, and it all came flooding back as to why that box was sitting in the pantry. Ugh.

Now fully aware of my mistake, I recognized that every moment is a teachable moment. I should have asked for your help with the next step because you are the one who prefers the smooth noodles. However, I'm also just a tired parent, and sometimes I opt to do things myself, no matter how ridiculous they may seem, just to avoid rocking the boat - you were calm and I really just wanted to keep it that way.

I then proceeded to dump the noodles onto the counter to sort out enough to make your mac and cheese. Yes, I totally did that. I love you very much and you're welcome.

Addie, this week began with a box of noodles and a mother who was perhaps was a little sleep-deprived and didn't remember why the box of noodles was there. Maybe not my finest moment, but all ended well with a your tummy full.

Love,

Mom